A long time ago, a computer scientist named Steve was just starting out at a research institute. Steve's boss came to his desk and said "Hey Steve, I'm going to need you to write that project you have in this new thing called ML. Here's everything he need to know about the language. Have the project on my desk by Monday morning.".
Steve thought to himself, "Huh, I never heard of ML. I love new programming challenges. This will be fun!" Steve spent the entire weekend fumbling around trying to understand this new language. it would take him hours to write a few lines of code. Nothing he tried seemed to be working, and just as soon as he was getting the hang of things, something even harder and more incomprehensible came along. Sunday night, he finally decided that he was going to give up and tell his boss he couldn't finish the project.
On Monday morning, Steve went to his boss and told him everything. Two of his boss's colleagues were in the office and the three of them listened to Steve with smiling faces. After Steve was done talking, they all burst out laughing. Steve was confused. Then Steve's boss said, "Steve, we designed ML as a prank to give people like you nightmares. It was all a joke! We've been doing this for a while now, and when you get some tenure we'll let you in on it too. We're working on this new thing called Caml that'll be even worse." Steve felt a great sense of relief. In all of his fury over the weekend, he wondered what would make him even madder, and soon he was let in on the little group. Steve had plenty of new ideas to anger unwary programmers. He thought, "this functional stuff is already horrible enough, but if we add Objects..."
Thus Ocaml was born.
I hate Ocaml.
When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept... for there were no more worlds to conquer.